Is it your dream to teach English in Japan?
This is Part Two: Naughty Questions ELTs get asked by their students.
If you missed part one, check it out here.
Maybe every public school has the token naughty student with a dirty mind. This is the student who loves to ask ‘naughty’ questions and make inappropriate comments. This is the perfect opportunity to use the funny answer instead of the honest answer. There are tons of ways to avoid answering questions as well. It’s quite Japanese to answer personal questions vaguely, so they won’t think that’s weird either.
There are always bound to be naughty comments (and gestures; sometimes attempts at touching) in addition to the questions. You kind of have to draw the line yourself about what’s appropriate. Letting students know Immediately that it’s not acceptable or gonna happen again is the best approach. If we act respectably, this stays to a minimum, but it really depends on your students and school environment. Also remember, it’s not something personal against you, and students might have a lot going on at home so they have a hard time making good choices at school. I’d leave the discipline to the Japanese teachers as it isn’t the ALTs’ job or worth your energy.
Anyway, here are a couple examples of what I’ve been asked by the token naughty student in my previous junior high school (and my responses).
Lose virgin? (Didn’t answer this one, just kinda laughed.)
Do you play sex? (Laughed and said, “well… we don’t play sex…”)
(This student was always sleeping in English class, asked the questions outside of class, and I figured at least he’s trying to use English.)
One more unwelcome question:
Pregnant? (nah, too much ramen maybe.)
Most of my ideas are based on misunderstandings. When I mentioned I was working on a series of questions people ask foreigners in Japan, questions from our students is what ALT Insider’s James thought I meant. Students ask us just as many (or way more) questions, and they’re usually funnier, so I went with it.
I’ll pass the mic to James for the naughty questions guys get asked by their students, because… I wouldn’t know.
James from ALTInsider.com here! I couldn’t let Alissa post this without adding some questions from the guy side of things.
For me, I usually told my students that if they asked a question in PERFECT English I would answer any question they had. This lead to many attempts to ask me naughty questions, but reduced the number of times I had to actually give an answer to zero. It also lead to students attempting to ask the same question correctly over and over, which is actually great English practice!
The following is a sampling of the attempted questions I have heard from the angels in my classes, starting with their first attempt at the question, until they gave up or used correct English.
You like Oppai ero-hon?
Very far from correct English here. No answer needed.
Do you like oppai book?
Do you like chest book?
He really was trying. But this was sadly his last attempt.
Ms. (Teacher’s Name) and you sex?
She is a female and I am a male. He walked away surprisingly satisfied with that answer.
Big Penis? (while reaching to my area to confirm)
Not a complete question at all. Try harder. And stop trying to touch me.
Do you Big Penis?
Close but nope.
Do you have a big penis?
In closing, be ready for these questions! Don’t take them too seriously and they can be a very funny part of your experience. Have more fun!
Thank you James!
Part Three is the final segment, the unexpected and strange questions students ask us.
See you next week.